The Gap Between Knowing and Doing (And How to Close It)
I know exactly what I should do when I start spiraling.
I should notice the thought. Label it. Ask myself if it’s true. Reframe it to something more realistic. Use the 5 Senses Check-In if my nervous system is freaking out. Take three deep breaths.
I KNOW all of this.
And yet last Tuesday, I spent two hours spiraling about an email I sent, convinced I’d said the wrong thing and ruined a relationship.
Did I use any of my tools? Nope. Not a single one.
That moment, when you know exactly what to do but don’t do it, is the knowing–doing gap.
I just… spiraled. Like I always used to.
Knowing what to do and actually doing it are two completely different things. And the gap between them? That’s where most people get stuck.
You Already Know What to Do
If you’ve been following along with this blog, reading books about mindset, listening to podcasts, taking workshops, you already know what to do.
You know you should catch and reframe negative thoughts, use grounding techniques, and practice mindfulness regularly.
You KNOW this stuff.
So why don’t you DO it when you actually need it?
The Problem: The Knowing–Doing Gap
There’s a massive gap between knowing something intellectually and being able to access that knowledge in the moment when your brain is freaking out.
It’s like knowing how to swim in theory but never getting in the water. You might understand the mechanics, but when you’re thrown in the deep end, you’re still going to panic.
Here’s what happens:
When you’re calm, you can think clearly. You remember your tools. You know exactly what to do. “Next time I spiral, I’ll use the ‘So What?’ Ladder. Easy.”
When you’re spiraling, your prefrontal cortex goes offline. Your amygdala takes over. You’re in fight-or-flight mode.
This isn’t a mindset issue. It’s a nervous system response.
And suddenly, you can’t remember a single tool you’ve ever learned.
You just… spiral.
That’s the knowing–doing gap. And it’s completely normal.
Why This Happens (It’s Not Your Fault)
Your brain is wired to protect you. When it perceives a threat (even an imaginary one) it prioritizes survival over everything else.
It doesn’t care that you took a workshop last week. It doesn’t care that you know the 5 Senses Check-In.
It just wants to keep you alive.
So, it floods your system with cortisol, shuts down your thinking brain, and puts you in panic mode.
This is biology. Not a personal failing.
But here’s the good news: you can train your brain to close the gap.
How to Close the Gap
So how do you actually USE your tools when you need them?
1. Practice When You’re Calm
Don’t wait until you’re spiraling to practice your tools.
Do the 5 Senses Check-In when you’re not anxious. Do it while sitting at your desk, waiting for coffee, walking to your car.
Practice thought-reframing with low-stakes worries, not the big terrifying ones.
Meditate when you’re already feeling okay, not as a last-ditch effort in crisis mode.
You’re building neural pathways. You’re teaching your brain: this is familiar, safe, automatic.
Practice when it’s boring so it works when it’s hard.
2. Start Ridiculously Small
Don’t try to implement everything at once.
Pick ONE tool. Use it for ONE week.
Maybe this week you just notice one negative thought per day. No reframing. No fixing. Just noticing.
Small, consistent practice beats big, sporadic efforts every time.
3. Create External Reminders
Your brain will forget. That’s normal. So create cues.
Phone alarm: “5 Senses Check-In”
Sticky note: “What am I thinking right now?”
Calendar reminder: “3-minute meditation”
You’re not weak for needing reminders. You’re human.
4. Normalize Forgetting (Without Giving Up)
You will forget to use your tools.
You’ll spiral, then hours later think, “I could’ve used the 5 Senses Check-In.”
That’s not failure. That’s progress.
Awareness often comes after the spiral first. Then a little sooner next time. Eventually, in the moment.
What This Looks Like in Real Life
Last week, I caught myself spiraling about the workbook for my workshop.
“UGH. It’s not perfect. They’re going to think you’re a fraud.”
Classic.
About 10 minutes in, I remembered: Oh. I have tools for this.
I stopped. Did the 5 Senses Check-In. Felt my feet on the floor. Heard the heater running. Took a breath.
Then I caught the thought: They’re going to think you’re a fraud.
Is that true or is my brain catastrophizing?
Catastrophizing. Obviously.
“It might not be perfect, but that doesn’t mean you’re a fraud. I’m human. It’s fine.”
And the spiral stopped.
Not perfectly. Not instantly. But it worked.
That’s what closing the gap looks like.
Book Bite: The Power of Habit — Charles Duhigg
“This is the real power of habit: the insight that your habits are what you choose them to be.” — Charles Duhigg
Duhigg’s research shows that habits aren’t about willpower. They’re about creating automatic responses.
Mindset tools don’t fail because we forget them. They fail when we haven’t practiced them enough to become habits.
The more you practice your tools when you’re calm, the more likely you are to access them when you’re not.
The Bottom Line
The knowing–doing gap is real. And it’s frustrating.
But you can close it.
Practice when you’re calm. Start small. Create reminders. Forgive yourself when you forget.
Tools don’t work because you know them. They work because your nervous system recognizes them.
Keep practicing. It’s working.
Want practical tools and weekly mindset strategies?
Sign up for The Mindset Drop newsletter. Every Thursday. One mindset shift. One tool. One simple step. No BS. Sign up here
